Breathe Cafe

I examined the outside of the envelope to see if there was any name written in it. I knew it didn't come from Trixie. Why would she even give me a letter. My heart started racing eager yet afraid at the same time to know where it came from.

I opened it and saw a skyblue stationary folded inside. I was slightly trembling. I looked at the name and it was addressed to me spelling the name "Criselda" and it came from Paul (my best friend's boyfriend). I dropped it as I read his name and took a deep breath. I set it aside and went to the kitchen and tried to have cereals. I took my time in deciding whether to read it or not.

I took a bath and brushed my teeth still thinking about it. And when I was all dressed like I would be going out which I wasn't planning on, I went back to the couch. I took the letter again and finally decided to read it.

Criselda,

I'm sorry for the other night. For Justin. For hurting Faith. For hurting you and for all that I did. I was a jerk! I know. Please read this letter and finish it. I don't expect you to forgive me but I still hope that you will.

I met Faith and you. I liked her at the moment that I saw her but after a week, I noticed you. You were always looking out for her. You weren't selfish. You were nice and everything and I started liking you and I just woke up one day and knew that I love you but I know we couldn't be together. I was afraid.

I didn't break up with Faith even though I don't love her because I knew that when I did break up with her, you will eventually hate me for hurting your friend. I don't want you to hate me so I tried to ignore the feeling until I couldn't hide it anymore.

Trixie knew about this and she told me I must do something about it. I agreed with her that maybe because you were Faith's best friend, she will eventually understand that we love each other if she saw us together but the plan failed.

I told Faith Trixie was stalking me and everything to make her jealous. I told her that maybe if we can pretend that you are with me, Trixie would back off because you're with her in the squad. Yes, it was all my plan to be with you but you just kept hiding. I couldn't see any sign that you love me but there was also no sign that you don't so Jay came to me. Jay Thompson, the guy in the back....

I looked away from the letter and remembered it. Jay was the nerd in class who always sat on the back. He didn't have any friends because he was a know-it-all and he annoyed everyone that's why he always stayed at the back of the class. I've only seen him or noticed him maybe just about three times before he went to me and dressed in a cool fashioned make over and told me he was Justin. I never knew he could do that- change and befriend me.

I shook my head from the memory and continued reading.

Jayson Justin Thompson, the guy in the back of the class. He went to me when I was too desperate on finding a way on how we could be together and so I had the idea.

I thought that if you would make a new friend in his person, maybe you would be more open and learn that the world isn't only about Faith. But again, it failed because he started to like you a lot and I hated him for that.

And so it seems there's really no chance for us. You hate me now. I'm such an ass. I hate myself,too. I made the one I love hate me. I'm so stupid.

I've decided to leave. I'm so sorry, Cris. I'm sorry that I love you and that I hurt you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Tears fell on the stationary I was reading and I can't breathe. Paul was leaving me. I don't know what to feel. I was trembling. This was what I was afraid of. I wiped the tears blurring my eyes from reading Paul's letter and continued still.

I'll just be in school today to get my grades and other forms. Don't worry. I'll warn them to back off. They won't spread rumors about it. I'll be sure you won't see me in school today. I promise. I'm sorry.

So so sorry.Goodbye. Always keep safe and good luck in your studies. I hope you find the right one for you.

Paul


A/N:

This is the goodbye letter from taken from chapter 12 of my story Playing Pretend (My boyfriend is Hers) Book 1 than can be found on goodreads.